‘Not Without My Daughter’ Is the Best Family Friendly Film

Worth Losing Sleep Over

A recent study found that 33% of folks choose watching videos over getting enough sleep a few times a week. I have to admit I'm closer to doing that every night. So when I say this movie is worth staying up for, I'm not saying it lightly. "Not Without My Daughter" is mama bear action-packed! And if you are burning the midnight oil anyway, this is exactly where to spend it.

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Welcome to Wholesome TV Pics. I'm your host, Jennifer Avila, and this is the only podcast where every recommendation is backed by 35 plus years of watching wholesome TV to save you from wasting time on the wrong pick. Let's get into it.

The Vacation That Changed Everything

"Not Without My Daughter" is a 1991 movie that stars Sally Field and Alfred Molina as Betty Mahmoody and her husband, who's referred to as Moody. Moody is an Iranian-American citizen who has lived in the country for about 12 years, and is married to Betty and they have a young daughter named Mahtob. Moody tricks his wife Betty to go on vacation to Iran to visit his family, who are desperately wanting to see him and meet his family. Despite Betty's concern about traveling to Iran. He reassures her that they will be in no danger and everything will be fine. Being a loving husband, she trusts him and agrees to a two week vacation in Iran. Once those wheels land in Iran, unbeknownst to her, her life is forever changed. We learn rather quickly that Mahmoody had no intentions of ever returning to America and has literally taken his wife and daughter hostage, keeping them against their will in Iran.

When You Can't Trust Anyone

There are a couple of strong emotions that I think you and I can relate to Betty in this movie. The first one is loneliness. Holy moly. You can totally see her loneliness in this movie. She can't trust anybody. She doesn't have any friends. She can't speak the language. She was isolated. There are moments in the film where you see she's trying to communicate with people from the outside world. When she tries to use the phone to call her parents or to find help, she's punished for it. Her husband's family are nothing but a bunch of snitches because every time she does something, she's not supposed to either because she forgets, and she doesn't understand the traditions of the culture in Iran. They're spying on her. No matter where she goes, someone's spying on her. So she can't trust anybody except her daughter, who she does teach how to help her make their escape. She teaches her daughter to ask Daddy all kinds of questions to help them and make their escape what the signs say, what directions they go, how taxis work, and all kinds of other things.

Spied On. Silenced. Still Fighting.

She has no friends. She doesn't speak the language. And when she accepts an invitation to go to a school that teaches the Quran in English, she runs into a fellow American woman. She's so happy to meet another American and they bond, and you can tell. And we learn later that that woman is in the exact situation that she's in, but has accepted it. And there's an interesting storyline in of itself in that one as well. But then it turns out she can't even trust that woman either. Have you ever been in a situation where you couldn't trust anybody? I have.

The Birthday Cake Moment

I've definitely felt lonely, not threatened in the way that Betty was threatened, but I was adopted as a baby, but I always felt like the black sheep, in, within my dad's extended family. Over the years though, I felt that I was invisible. One year, I was turning 10 or 11, there was a large birthday party for all the family members that had birthdays in July. And they put all of our names on a birthday cake. I was kind of hidden around the corner in the kitchen. A cousin of mine was with her boyfriend and they were standing at the counter looking down, reading the names, there were like seven names on the cake. And at the bottom it said, "Jennifer." You know my name and I heard my cousin say, "Who's Jennifer?"

I was shocked and I was hurt. That was really eye-opening for me and really validated my feeling of loneliness within this family. Fast forward, uh, 20 some years later, my father, who became terminally ill with Glioblastoma, an incurable brain cancer. My husband gently came to me and told me, "Hey Jen, you know when your dad dies, his family isn't going to be around anymore?" I knew he was right. And you know what? Once my dad died, his whole family abandoned me. All the years growing up with these huge Christmas parties, graduations, weddings, and even my own wedding where my father guilted me into inviting the whole family when I didn't want to, to our wedding.

When I used to be on social media and was curious and looked up family members to see what they were up to, and I saw two people that had gotten married who were at my wedding. I saw pictures of the wedding, bachelorette parties, bridal shower parties. We weren't invited to any of those things. But you know what? God has His plans and everything's worked out and I'm good with it now. I've forgiven them and I don't dwell on it. And I share this because Betty didn't let the loneliness freeze her in time and prevent her from fighting for her daughter and their freedom. This is where the mama bear action begins.

She Learned to Play the Part

When she's out and about in the marketplace buying food simultaneously, she's trying to figure things out and how to make her escape. She does meet a very nice Iranian man. Who then leads her to another man and his sister who then help her plan and execute and escape. All the planning that she does and the secret trips to the market and all these other ways that she was able to get out of the house and without her husband's permission. To leave the home. But she gets to a point where she learns to play the part. She learns to compartmentalize her mama bear anger and starts being the happy Muslim wife and Muslim family member that her husband and his family want her to be, to make them happy so that they'll put their guards down and then she can make her escape.

The System Couldn't Help

She goes to the embassy for help who can't help her because she finds out just the act of her marrying an Iranian makes her an Iranian citizen. She's even asked, "Why did you come to this country?" I mean, she came because she loved her husband and wanted to make her husband happy. She was told that she can divorce and go home, but the husband gets the children, she stood her ground and said, "I am not leaving her. I won't, no, I can't." She promised her daughter she was not going to leave without her.

What Her Daughter Was Watching

What an amazing role model for Mahtob to see. She knows strength and she learned what it meant to stand up for what is right. Her mom, oh my gosh, what a fierce woman to model yourself after. Betty had to think fast. She had to keep all this information in her head. The brother and sister that Betty meets who help her escape. Gives her a phone number and tells her, "Memorize it. Don't keep it," because if her husband were to find it, she'd get beaten or worse.

Blindly Trusting Strangers to Survive

And then her actual escape is another big arduous thing that she and Mahtob go through, through desert and fear of all of the unknown. The brother and the sister set up this escape and they're bounced from person to person to person on the entire route out of the country who don't speak English.

She's trust. She has to blindly trust all these people, not knowing if one of them is going to betray her and return her to her husband. But as you and I know as mama Bears and even daddy bears, because I know quite a few dads out there will stop at nothing to protect their daughters.

The Day the Police Ran In

Her mama bear instinct to escape with her daughter, reminds me of an event that I experienced in April, 2002. I was a customer service rep for a major transit company in Southern California. This one Saturday I was working alone, which was completely normal. This day was not normal though because at about 9 30, 10 o'clock in the morning, as I was sitting at my desk I suddenly saw a barrage of police cars going up and down the street in front of me at a very high speed. I was wondering what was going on. Suddenly, I see 10 to 12 police officers quickly running up to the door, walking in and feeling very awkward and with my eyes really wide. The first officer says, "Is there anyone else in this building?" I said, "No, I, I'm the only one working here." He said, "Well, we have to come in and search the area." I said, "What's going on?" The same officer responded to me with, "One of our deputies was shot a few streets over and we're on a manhunt looking for the killer, who was reported to be in this area." I was feeling very fearful and then he continued, "and we need to clear this building and the offices next door as well."

This was a really small office. The officer came in, he looked under the desks, looked into the bathroom, went out the back door. I'm hearing sirens, the police radios, more police cars. It was just a crazy day. Then all the deputies quickly walk out and before the last officer shuts the door, he turns around and says, "Lock the door, and don't let anybody in." I quickly got up from my seat, and locked the door. I called my boss, told her what was going on, and she told me just close up shop and go home. And that's what I did. Eventually, the man who shot Deputy David March on April 29th, 2002, was sentenced to life in prison without parole in 2007 after he was extradited from Mexico.

The reason I share this with you is because those officers, who loved Deputy David March as a brother, equally as much as a mom or a dad loves their child, were angry and took all that fight in them to hunt down the assailant who murdered their brother in cold blood. I have seen and heard so many stories of police and deputies who have been killed in the line of duty, but Deputy David March's name has stuck with me all these years and I will never forget his name. So remember, just as if someone were to hurt your child, you would avenge them as well. Don't ever let loneliness or fear keep you from fighting for your life or standing for what's right.

Don't Take Freedom for Granted

The final takeaway from this movie is patriotism. For me as an American, it really does give a scary glimpse of what life is like in other countries Betty says it herself in the film where she says, "it's too primitive here." So don't take freedoms for granted. Take a lesson from Betty and never give up.

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Same Fight, Different Borders

Betty Mahmoody fought across borders through fear and through impossible odds to bring her daughter home. Next week, I'm bringing you a story where a father and a couple fought just as hard with the battleground stretching between Florida and Pennsylvania. It's a 1991 NBC true story event that will have you hooked.

Thanks for listening. Have a great rest of your week. Remember, your values matter and your TV should too. Take care.